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” —Steven Gartland, Poughkeepsie, NY Love lesson: It’s so simple, but when people are working to impress another person, they can forget to focus on, well, that other person.

Have fun, be honest and think about what makes you unique and interesting and make your photos count.2.

“It shows you read the profile and invites the person to respond and tell you more about that aspect.” But rather than bombarding a potential match with questions, this basic format lets you get personal without going overboard.

Also, know that women get complimented on their pictures all the time—both our experts and users say it’s more effective when a guy says he was taken with something non-physical, like the way she writes or another attribute that was obvious through her profile.

Case history: “What works for me is when a guy mentions something unexpected, because it makes me totally curious and shows that he’s got more going on than a 9-to-5 job.

One guy mentioned that he’d traveled the world, and since that’s always been a dream of mine, I had to hear all about it.

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